I have a depression. It’s something I’ve known for a while now, and something I’ve just accepted I have to live with for the immediate future – but I’m making steps towards getting better.
And recently the normal feeling of a dark cloud looming over me and having control over me hasn’t been there. When it’s there I just feel numb, nothing excites me or makes me sad or makes me feel anything in fact – I’m just numb. Grey almost.
Everything is going so well with work and I’m slowly get back to the old me. Someone I actually recognise in the mirror.
I should be so excited for the things that are happening with my job – but when I tell anyone I just feel like it means nothing, they don’t care and neither should I – it’s just work.
But today it hit me again, and oh how it hit me hard! The dark cloud completely took over I almost felt drunk, nothing felt real I just sat there going through the motions, writing about it definitely helps and maybe I should have never stopped writing so frequently when I started but hopefully when I wake up the skies a little clearer and I feel something again.
Because when I don’t the days are so much harder to get through.