It came back. 

I have a depression. It’s something I’ve known for a while now, and something I’ve just accepted I have to live with for the immediate future – but I’m making steps towards getting better. 

And recently the normal feeling of a dark cloud looming over me and having control over me hasn’t been there. When it’s there I just feel numb, nothing excites me or makes me sad or makes me feel anything in fact – I’m just numb. Grey almost. 

Everything is going so well with work and I’m slowly get back to the old me. Someone I actually recognise in the mirror. 

I should be so excited for the things that are happening with my job – but when I tell anyone I just feel like it means nothing, they don’t care and neither should I – it’s just work. 

But today it hit me again, and oh how it hit me hard! The dark cloud completely took over I almost felt drunk, nothing felt real I just sat there going through the motions, writing about it definitely helps and maybe I should have never stopped writing so frequently when I started but hopefully when I wake up the skies a little clearer and I feel something again. 
Because when I don’t the days are so much harder to get through. 

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1 Comment

  1. It really is tough when that dark cloud takes over, when all the feelings leave and you almost can’t understand what’s going on around you. I hope you wake up to clearer skies as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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